13: Destiny. Or Whatever that is

13

Iridea

Evelena proceeds to fill Stellina in on everything she missed, as best she can. Y’know: geography, a lil sprinkling of history, political relations (blah blah blah). All that fun stuff which I already know very well, if I do say so myself, and have turned their voices into background noise. Apparently, Wood elves didn’t exist when Stellina was around so that’s new. The more you know.

While they talk, I pour myself another cup of tea and begin tidying the table since it's clear eating time is over. As I work my way through dishes, stacking pastries and fruits back in their places, and sipping on scalding tea, Stellina works her way back to her favourite conversation.

“Where can I find him?” She demands after a discussion that clearly frustrated her. I think it was about countries? I don’t know. I heard the words ‘Estra see us’ followed by Evelena’s slow pronunciation of ‘My-an’ to which Stellina fiercely shook her head at. I lift my gaze from assorting biscuits back in their box to gauge Evelena’s reaction to the sudden mention of Hyxver. Her eyes are narrowed a fraction deeper than they normally are and I immediately know what thought is spinning through her head. I’ve seen it countless times before, sometimes voiced, usually not. It's the famous: “You’re about to do something goddamn stupid that puts your life on the edge, aren’t you?”. A classic.

Instead of this forward approach, which I would’ve personally gone for, she says carefully,

“What do you plan to do if I tell you?” This seems to irritate Stellina, judging by the curling of her fingers into the flesh of the wooden table. She inhales deeply and closes her eyes, head raised, 

“Only what he deserves.” Evelena snaps back immediately,

“Specificity, darling. What does he deserve?”

“Death.” The single word emanates from her mouth and fills the room. Her voice seems unnatural, without the poise and elegance it held before. It is filled with emotion, one that is rubbed between two stones, gritted between two teeth, growled by a bear. She sits upright in her chair and all the light in our house seems to centre on her. Her hair glows, her eyes shine furiously. 

She is powerful. This is her destiny. Or whatever that is.

Everything drops into silence; no creaks in the old floorboard; no utterance of words; the water that always drips from the tap seems suddenly too afraid to carry out its usual routine. I don’t even know if I’m breathing. At last, Evelena sighs and voices a phrase I’ve never heard from her before:

“Who am I to stop you?” The slightest smirk curls the edges of Stellina’s lips, “But. But, you must promise me that you will not fight this battle alone. Hyxver is powerful, he has had many years to learn and acquire resources while you slept. However, many people have their reasons to take him down. May it be personal affliction, the looming fear of war, or a heroic urge to bring Zyrona back to what it once was. You can find help anywhere. You need only look for it.”

Although these words are directed at Stellina, I feel like they were meant to be heard by me. Likewise, they seem to ground Stellina and bring her back to the reality of the situation. She plants her hands firmly on the table and breathes slowly. Her eyes are closed as she nods her head. She presents the image of a powerful ruler with a life changing decision to make in the palm of their hand,

“You are right. Your truths are appreciated. Who would you say to help me in this battle?”

It is then that I know: I have to help her in this battle. 

This is my destiny too. 

Before I can speak up, Evelena leans back, her eyes fixed thoughtfully on a place in the ceiling,

“I suppose the moon elves would help, although they would be reluctant to engage in actual combat but they would jump at providing you with weapons or the shelter and protection that you need. Perhaps the Wood elves or one of the Shadow elf tribes. Most certainly the elves of the Everburning flame…” Half of these are doubtful, I know someone very well who is a guaranteed volunteer, “You can find many willing soldiers at the Castle of the Four and I’m sure-”

I cut Evelena off before she can continue, quickly tugging my chair back to retake my seat,

“The moon elf tribe won’t fight for shit. Neither will the shadow elf tribes - one of them signed an agreement with Hyxver to avoid conflict and the other lives in goddamn Scholk, the most laid back, unaffected country. They don’t care.” Evelena looks at me, surprise flickering across her expression. Stellina listens studiously, “The Castle of the Four is just as lazy and would do jackshit despite promoting peace. They’ve already proven they won’t commit to that promise when it comes to Hyxver. 

“No. You need a jump start. You need someone reliable to help you until you can gain more allies.” Realisation dawns on Evelena’s face. Her eyes reduce to slits, her voice lowers threateningly,

“Iridea…” I guess her speech wasn’t meant for me. I figured as much, coming from her. I ignore her,

“I know someone who has a fantastic reason to defeat that awful man. Someone who has some amount of power to do so, as well. Someone close that you can rely on. Now.” 

Stellina leans forward, multiple aspects of her face twitching as if she’s trying to hide a variety of emotions passing through her. Again, Evelena hisses out my name. And again, I ignore her. My decision has been made. The speech must go on,

“Who?” Stellina prompts,

“Me.” I answer, smiling wickedly.

Evelena looks furious.

The Star Elf raises her eyebrows.

Ok. Ouch.

“Wait. Ok. Just…see what I can do.” I quickly try to redeem myself but as I begin to summon the thing within me and feel my blood bubble to meet it, Evelena grabs my wrist. The look she gives me is one filled with annoyance, rage, and, worst of all, worry. In a hushed voice, she addresses me,

“Iridea. We’ll talk later.” Can you guess what I do? The thing I’m so very good at? That’s right: I ignore her. We know each other so well.

Slowly, a concentrated ball of shadow and lightning-like energy crafts itself above my palm. It crackles softly, and a faint, angry buzzing emits from its core. It spins chaotically, wanting desperately to leave its confined shape. But I won’t let it, this is my only chance.

When I’m confident that it won’t scatter across the room the moment I give it an ounce of freedom, I look up to see the Star Elf’s reaction.

Her mouth is wide open, twisted into a horrified frown. Her fingers clench the table, their tendons straining. Her pupils are large and fixated on the ball of shadow. Oh. Shadow. Fuck.

I bring it back to myself immediately. Of course. Why didn’t I think of that? That was so stupid.

I plop back into my seat, avoiding eye contact with Evelena as best as I can. There is a moment of awful silence before Evelena takes control of the conversation. It's clear Stellina hasn’t even processed what took place before her, her eyes flick back and forth between the two of us even as Evelena talks,

“I suspect you’ll need a map to find all these places as the Castle of the Five and the elves of the Everburning Flame did not exist during your time. I believe there’s one of Zyrona in a book somewhere…” 

We watch as she leaves her chair to thumb the pages of particular books on the shelves. After a few moments, she nods her head affirmingly at a book nestled into the wall, pulls it out, opens it, and rips a page from the spine. Blasphemy. Sacrilegious. Stellina seems to agree as we both freeze at this sudden, nonsensical action from my caretaker.

Evelena returns to the table where our shocked faces reside, although she seems completely ignorant of this fact, and I observe the rest of her interaction with Stellina. She lays out the map in front of the Star Elf and points out places that didn’t exist in her time, but have since come into being. Important things, not like Jemtong or Ceofuar in Xeoda, but places like Hyxver’s territory and his supposedly jagged palace, the Castle of the Four, the Everburning flame volcano, and some of the current known positions of the Wood elves. Stellina watches studiously and repeats the location names after hearing them. If she forgets one, she asks Evelena again or rechecks what she has learned by pointing at places and naming their respective titles. I wonder if there was an elven school she went to before, with a wise and old elven teacher and other elven students studying in a big, soaring, diamond hall with light streaming from unknown crevices and bouncing off the ethereal material to fill the room in dazzling colours. 

Before I can ask any of the bajillion questions that line up one after another in military-like style, Evelena rolls the map into a cylinder and offers the spare room to the Star Elf. It's only just after five but fatigue seems to cloud around Stellina and drag her limbs towards the floor like a heavy weight. She politely and graciously accepts in her formal and robotic manner before following Evelena’s instructions up the stairs. As she gradually disappears from sight, I drag my eyes to Evelena to encounter the dreaded ‘talk’ that was threatened. Her blue eyes already pierce into me.

Ah shit.

What’s worse is her mouth, set in one straight line across her face. After living with her for the majority of my life, this is an immediate giveaway of Evelena’s anger. They open to hiss out the start of a long argument,

“Iridea Laudene,” Thank god I don’t have a middle name. Somehow that would make this even more humiliating, “What in the Gods’ name were you thinking?” The question sounds more like a statement and, for a second, I’m tempted not to answer. But my stubborn heart keeps my gaze steady and my mouth sharp as always.

“I was giving her the gift of honesty. Were you going to tell her the truth about the moon elves or the castle of the five? No. You were completely content to send her on a wild goose chase if it meant that she was kept far away from him. And I don’t want to see the most convincing Star Elf be captured and turned because she didn’t have any allies to back her up. I don’t want to see Hyxver gain another leverage against us. I want him to burn to the ground.” My heart pounds in my ears and my face burns as a fire alights in my stomach. My eyes feel like they glow with ferocity as they bore into Evelena’s., “You’ve always wanted me to find something to do with my life, maybe this is it. If she is the Star Elf, which is looking more and more convincing by the second, I think I would be a good asset to her. I have powers-”

“That you don’t know how to use,” Evelena cuts in, her voice a clear snap in the silence of the house, “Have you even considered the risks, Iridea? You’re no use to anyone if you die immediately. You have power and brains but you don’t have experience or any training whatsoever. I’ve tried to keep you away from Hyxver so you can live a normal life away from his harm, and now you want to go closer?”

I latch onto her last words, they act like fuel to the fire lit by my tongue,

“I’ve never had training because you’ve never taught me or let me experiment with my powers. Amara gets to play around all she likes with her illusions but with me, it's always: ‘Stop it, you’ll break something’ or, ‘You don’t know the effect that’ll do’. I’ve had to bury it inside of me all my life since it was forced into me.” Evelena’s mouth turns downward as it usually does when I breach this subject, “Don’t give me that face! I’m the one that has to live with it, I don’t care if it's uncomfortable for you because it is excruciating for me. 

“Please, Auntie Eve, let me do this. I’m an adult now, I can choose the course of my life and this feels right. I can’t get a job here with my reputation and I don’t want to be stuck in a tree, reading books that are no help to me for the rest of my life. I want to do something. And I want that something to fucking destroy the man that made me like this because the fact of the matter is, Evelena, I’m a monster and nothing can change that.” My fists are curled and my heart is pounding in my chest. My whole body feels like it's shaking with energy. I expect Evelena to be looking at me, with some sort of negative emotion on her face, but her worried gaze is fixed behind me. I turn to see the shadows in the kitchen bunching and roiling together as one mass. Their presence feels threatening and ominous, any sudden movement could wreak havoc on the woodwork surrounding it. I relax my grip and immediately, the shadows retreat to their original positions, leaving gaping holes in the places they touched. The sink and anything underneath the cabinets is completely gone or have been cleaved at the top. Spiderweb-like webs burn into the places the shadows touched. Evelena exhales heavily,

“If you’re bored you can clean that up and make dinner but you’re not endangering yourself for the sake of keeping yourself occupied. That’s idiotic. The Iridea I know is just the opposite. Remember to keep quiet for our guest. I’ll be upstairs finishing my work.” Before I can even think of a response, Evelena turns and makes her way upstairs. All I can manage to get out before she enters her room is,

“Will you even consider it?” My question is met by the closing of a door. 

My fists clench and unclench as I breathe in and out, trying to clear my mind of all the accusations and emotions firing through me. I get to work; an occupied mind is a quiet one, or, at least, I thought it would be but as I grip ingredients for the meal and scrub the countertop in vain, my mind is filled with plots to assist the Star Elf.

She would need an informant, I can be that. She would need someone to fight by her side, I could be that too. Heck, I can even be a chef if she needs that. Whatever happens, if she truly is the Star Elf, I want to be right by her side when she impales that bitch through the heart, if he even has one.